In a stunning display of foresight that would impress a goldfish, Dutch Economy Minister Vincent Karremans has bravely admitted he was “blindsided” when China retaliated against his government’s seizure of a Chinese-owned company. [1]
The admission confirms what many suspected: the Dutch government’s plan had all the strategic depth of a puddle.
In a move that future historians will surely study as a masterclass in self-sabotage, the Dutch government in September decided to invoke a dusty Cold War-era law to take control of Nexperia, a chipmaker owned by China’s Wingtech Technology. [1]
The stated reason was “national security,” a term here seemingly used to mean “a vague, undefined feeling of unease.” The plan, apparently, was to prevent Nexperia from moving its production to China, because who needs a robust global supply chain anyway?
To the utter astonishment of absolutely no one with a functioning brain stem, China responded. Beijing promptly restricted chip shipments from Nexperia’s packaging plants in Dongguan, a facility responsible for a whopping 70% of the company’s output. [1]
This, in turn, caused a predictable and entirely avoidable shock to the global automotive industry, which suddenly found itself short on essential chips. [1]
During a parliamentary hearing where he was deservedly roasted, Karremans offered this gem of an explanation: “An assessment was made of possible counterreactions; this wasn’t the most likely reaction from China.” [1]
One can only imagine the high-level strategic thinking that went into that assessment. Perhaps it involved a Magic 8-Ball and a game of pin the tail on the donkey.
Fellow lawmakers, in a rare moment of clarity, described the minister’s brilliant maneuver as “reckless,” “sloppy,” and “amateurish.” [2]
One politician aptly compared Karremans’s approach to “a driver accelerating but forgetting to update the navigation system,” a metaphor that is frankly too kind.[2]
Meanwhile, experts in China and around the world watched the debacle with a mixture of amusement and disbelief. Jian Junbo, a professor at Fudan University, noted that the Dutch side seems determined to “justify its own actions” rather than acknowledge the gaping hole it shot in its own foot. [2]
China’s Ministry of Commerce has made its position clear: the Netherlands broke it, so they have to fix it. [2]
In the end, one is left to wonder what other startling discoveries Minister Karremans will make. Will he be shocked to learn that fire is hot? That gravity makes things fall? Or that poking a global economic superpower with a stick might just get you poked back? The world waits with bated breath.
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